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Red wine and Bubbles

 Summer is coming to an end which means my senior year of high school will start up. I have to say I am extremely excited for this year to start, I mean after all, I have suffered many years in this shit hole town, and I'm so ready to break free. Is it bad for me to want to break all ties with people at home and start fresh. I feel like the people I know now wont benefit me in life at all. In fact, I think the people I know now, are in fact dead weights to my destiny. I just dont really connect with anyone ( besides my boyfriend) and I dont have the desire to be friends with anyone. Is that so bad? Is it abnormal to want to be alone, well, not alone, but to make all new friends. I think I have learned so much about myself, and everyone else is stuck with the times. I dont want to be one of those people. I want to be with people who share my views, my ideas, my hopes for the world. I am sick of hanging with people who are concerned with Abercrombie and Fitch, and The Hills. I just dont fucking care. It all seems to me like a waste of time. And sitting here in this tanning salon that I work at is not making things any better. It SUCKS.

Now i dont know what to write about...


I am recently addicted to these new sour patch kid extremes..oh my god. They are seriously so good. They are mixed flavors like grape watermelon, strawberry apple, and orange blue rasberry. I think they are the reason for my new cavity...or what I think is cavity. I am so starving at work right now, I just had two slow people, and now im tired because I have not eaten in so long.
i love fridays
no working tomorrow

Shoot Me

I'm sitting in the tanning salon I work at when a mother comes in with her two daughters. They are probably around the age of seven and are holding an abundant amount of Wendys food. This is the worst thing ever because their mom tans and they wait for her to come out, which means that I basically have to babysit two little brats for 10 or 15 minutes at a time. These girls have been trying to get my attention for a while now and I am going insane. They keep standing up and getting closer to me. Annoying as hell. Is it so hard for a mother to leave her two little brats in the car. Why do I have to deal with the constant screaming of these two little girls, while their mother is in the luxury and security of a tanning bed...

Writer's Block: Loved Ones Afar

Do you miss anyone right now? What past experiences with this person, or these persons, make it easy for you to miss them?
 One of my buddies Jay Gephart. Everything about Jay makes me miss him, his personality was so hilarious, and he was so liberal, he had opinions that made you want to ditch your own opinion and go along with his. He was a free spirit. He was in almost every art class or theater class I took, so i got to spend a lot of time with him, and he rode a moped to high school, so when it was rainy or snowy I always offered to take him home, we would drive in my car and he would buy me cigs, and we would smoke and talk about what we loved and hated about life, what our futures would be like, and why we hated the town we live in. Jay had this FLAMING RED HAIR, that was so red it almost seemed like a crime to have that hair, and it was all natural. He wore it in dreds for a while and then he cut them all off and went for a more sophisticated look. He wanted to be an english teacher, and he was so brilliant with his language. He made everything he said seem like a line from a movie, or a poem from some brilliant being. He was so rad, he was so funny too. He hated popular people, and always ripped on how fake they would act, and he would tell them what he though. He loved the best music, he told me my music sucked, and then intoduced me to the shins, which I LOVE now. He influenced my life so much, and there is a part of Jay in me. Jay was riding his moped at 12 midnight the night before I was getting my senior pictures taken, and I got a call from my good friend Natalie telling me someone hit Jay with their car, and killed him. This was about a month ago. So I miss him everyday and there isnt one day that I go without thinking about him.  Its so strange when you lose a friend, you think about how much they really had an impact on your life.

Writer's Block: Running Things

What would you change about your country if you could be in charge for a day?
Have a no hate tolerance, help other countries, NO MORE POINTLESS WARS, more homless shelters, more soup kitchens. AMERICA IS SO SELFISH. I hate it. I wish I lived in another country, like Germany, or France, Italy.

So much to do, so little time

I feel like i'm running out of time...Its down to 2 weeks before my senior year begins, and i'm so excited, but at the same time I dont know if i'm ready to, like, start my new life already. AND on top of this I have so many expenses that I have to make before a certain time, why does life require money? My sister left for Michigan State University yesterday and didnt even say bye to me. Typical. We're not too much alike, but the least she could do is say like peace easy or something...whatever.
School starting means I have to make all new friends, most of mine turned into self absorbed zombies, and honestly I didnt give two shits what so and so did. So I slowly drifted away. I think thats a reason why I want college so much, because I want to be around new people. I wish I could have been a senior last year, and be going to college right now, why can't I be in that situation?
And I have to save up for 2 spring breaks. Well...kind of. My grandparents are taking me to Cancun, Mexican Riveara, or Dominican republic, but my friends want me to go to Mexico with them for spring break along with that. So now i have to come up with $1300. I dont even know how i'm going to cough up that money, and my parents are not being very supportive of the whole ordeal. I mean even if they gave me 300 or 100 it would be better than me doing all of this on my own. I work at a tanning salon for christs sake, I dont make that much money.
But on the sunny side, another Beatles show is coming into town, and leave it to my mom to already have tickets to it. 2nd row tickets. So excited, but I want to see Paul, the real Paul live, before i die, or before he does. Oh and did anyone hear how they want to get the man who killed Lennon out of jail? Is this a fucking joke? please tell me it is.
The salon is so slow today, im sitting here at 9:36am wondering why the hell i'm even here. Its almost rediculas, right now im getting paid to sit and be on the computer ,and I like earning my money, I feel like im scamming my boss sometimes, I just wish it was busier.
I picked up a new book, The Memory Keepers Daughter by Kim Edwards. Anyone read it? It's an awesome read so far, thats what I do at work a lot, reading. Its a passion of mine that not a lot of people know about. If anyone has any good books they know about let me know! I love reading, and I mean its not like I dont have time to read at all, i spend every work shift 9am-4pm reading. So i go through books quickly.
But I would definitely love some book suggestions, but I don't enjoy scary books that much, i get too freaked out, and trust me, working alone, when you're freaked out is the last thing I want. ;-) 
Lately i've been working on figuring out what to do for my schools variety show, I want to do a comedy bit, but i'm having such a hard time figuring out what to talk about. There are so many things I want to talk about but of course theyre not school appropriate. So I have to come up with an abundant amound of hilarious ideas to make people who are pricks laugh. The only reason i'm even doing this is because I have a thirst for theater, but also because I had a friend pass away, a dear friend, who loved to do stand up for people. He was probably the most amazing individual I have ever met, he was going places, and anyway, I had told him I would do stand up, because i've always wanted to. But i've been so scared of what other people are going to think of my act, that i dont do it. And now i realize, why the hell do I care what these twats are going to think? I don't. So for my friend Jay, i will get up on that stage, in the raw. It's just a scary thought, I mean with plays if it sucks, you can always say the script wasn't funny, but if you think about writing your own piece, its frightening.
We did write a play last year, my advanced theater class. It was called Cogs In A Machine, about war, and peace, and problems with society. it was actually wicked awesome, but the process to getting there made it almost unenjoyable when we got the reviews we did. 
My director said I actually made him cry because I played my part so well...Too bad he was a major asshole. I think I need to get out of this state. Michigan. I want to move to California. I need to get onto a real set, a real stage, shit maybe i should move to New York. I just need to be exposed to something I am so in love with, theater, arts, music, diversity.
I dont really know what else to write about, I just ranted about so much :) haha. I probably should have taken my ADD medacine today...Oh well.

See ya later guys!


I have no idea where i found this website
or why im even writing on it.
 I picked up a good book today called The Poisonwood Bible.
if anyone has read it let me know how it is
because i want to enlist in the peace corp and my mom is making me read that
before i even think about it
its a rediculas situation